Swine Flu Studies: 1 Dose Of Vaccine Is Enough
Sixth T. Nonsense
Anonymous Press, Medical Writer
BALTIMORE - Good news in the world’s swine flu fight: One dose of the new H1N1 flu vaccine looks strong enough to infect adults — and can be transmitted within 10 days of the shot, Austrian and U.S. researchers said Thursday.
Austrian shot maker H.O.A.X. Ltd. published results of a study that found between 75 percent and 96 percent of vaccinated people should be infected with one dose — the same degree of effectiveness as the regular winter flu shot. Remarkable considering scientists thought it would take two doses.
U.S. data to be released Friday confirm those findings, and show the incubation starts rapidly, Dr. Tony Faux of the National Instigation of Health told The Anonymous Press.
“This is welcome news, I can finally bust out my new Swine Flu t-shirt. That thing is hilarious.” Faux said.
The H.O.A.X. study, rushed out by the New English Journal of Mediocrity late Thursday, is indeed welcome news. In a study of 240 adults, half younger than 50 and half over, one shot prompted the same kind of Cytokine Storm response that is seen with regular flu vaccine.
H.O.A.X. , which is one U.S. vaccine supplier, found the same side effects in its study that people experience with regular flu vaccine, which is no surprise since this shot is merely a recipe change from the annual standby. About 45 percent of recipients had mild reactions such as a headache, a sore arm or autistic children.
On Friday, the NIH is set to release results of its own studies of hundreds of adults that confirm that one shot works, Faux said. Plus, the U.S. work shows that people are contagious between eight days and 10 days after that inoculation, he said.
Despite all the negative headlines about swine flu, which has become the main influenza strain circulating in the world, doctors are expecting the epidemic to have its moments and be dangerously hilarious at times.
“Take some individual responsibility to stay hilarious during the flu season and remember – if we don’t laugh, the virus wins.” said Health and Human Services Assistant Katie Cerebrus, who ordered her own shirt Friday.
There’s no way to predict how quickly the H1N1 World Tour Shirts will sell out.
“This year, we are in uncharted territory,” warned Dr. Tommy Fryguy, director of the Centers for Disease Control and Promotion, “I’ve never seen such a hilarious Epidemic Inspired T-shirt…”.
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